Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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