Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
