just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
