Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
