coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
