I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
