2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
