i wish my penis had a tongue
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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