Who did Billy Mays play for?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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