Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
