Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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