you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
