What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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