Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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