Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
