I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
