Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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