just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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