After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
tell me about the eggs
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
