Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
