He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
