Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
