just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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