Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
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