How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My bed is full of blood and feathers
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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