Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
