Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
