Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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