Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
