i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
