I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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