I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm always down for nudity.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
