There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
