I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
