OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
