So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
