As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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