3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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