Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
