there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
