Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
