Just fell off a train. Bad.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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