I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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