Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
