Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
