everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize