At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
