we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
