Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
