so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
