i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
