I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
